Module 4: Practical matters and Ethics

a connected approach to wellness

How well do you listen? This is a key part of being a practitioner par excellence.  How can we have a fruitful conversation about what we do with partners, friends and family? Surrogacy is not a recognized profession, so selling what you do can be tricky.  Learning the ins and outs of marketing, law and how our clients might respond to us as human beings takes real skill.

We encourage you to sign up for an optional one-on-one conversation with an instructor to answer any questions or concerns you might have. We will have a mandatory shared group conversation at the conclusion of this module.

Lecture Session 1: Aug 16, 7 pm to 8 pm (Central time)

  • Approaching a therapist
    • Educating the therapist about the work, surrogacy, and the Triadic Model
    • Referrals from the therapist to you, the surrogate
  • Marketing safely, consent to treatment form
    • Disclaimers
    • Security
    • The right language
    • Identifying your clients
    • Talking to therapists
    • Legal questions
  • How to get safely undressed legally
    • Where you practice
      • Staying safe
    • Vetting your clients
    • Sexual health practices
    • Going slowly
  • Triadic model notes
    • How to keep the therapist involved
    • The vital role of the therapist
  • Review and reflect; roundtable share; questions and answers (group Zoom call – required)

Lecture Session 1: Aug 30, 7 pm to 8 pm (Central time)

  • Talking and listening
    • Basic listening skills
    • Active listening
    • Empathetic reflection 
    • Listening with no motive
  • Transference countertransference
    • What is it?
    • How to self-reflect and determine the issue
    • The role of the client therapist
  • Telling others about your work
    • Talking to a romantic partner
    • Talking to family
    • Talking to friends

Lecture, Group Discussion Sept 8, 7 pm to 8 pm (Central time) (group Zoom call – required)

  • Practitioner Ethics
    • Personal versus professional actions and behavior
    • What happens if you make a mistake?
    • What happens if you intentionally step over the line?
  • Consequences for conduct
  • Review and reflect; roundtable share; questions and answers
  • Please read these two online pieces before this call:
    IPSA Ethics
    Sex Coach U Ethics

Things to consider

  • Reflect on your own experiences with a practitioner (not as a practitioner) – therapist, bodyworker, or other. What was your experience like around their respect or recognition of your boundaries? Were there ever times when you felt discomfort?
  • When you have completed this training, you’ll be ready to work with clients, and, of course, their therapists. in many cases, there might not be a therapist that your client can work with and get a referral to you as a surrogate, which means you have to find one. What kind of conversation might you have with a potential therapist about your work as a surrogate?
  • Consider the ways in which you might keep yourself safe and market your services. What are some of the changes you might need to consider to make this happen? How might you vet your clientele? What do you need to do to stay healthy sexually, both in a physical sense (i.e. STIs) and an emotional sense?

Class documents

Class recordings:

Session 1: view it here.

Session 2: view it here.